Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in your_mom1226's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007
10:40 pm	I've posted it on myspace, why not here. I'm sitting here, sad, mostly due to an empty bottle of wine and a long thought process. There are many people who are going to read this that I really don't want to see me in my most fragile of states. One in particular. He knows who he is. I love my friends, I have an amazing support group that at times I feel like I'm supporting completely. On to the cause of this live journal rant bullshit.... I took a job when I had none. Feeling unwanted as un-needed and less then I'm worth I took a position that wasn't something that I wanted. Now I'm stuck someplace that I hate and that I'm unable to truly do what I love and am good at. First I have to say that my boss will most definitely read this, and I want him to know that i think of him as a good friend and I hope he will not take offence at this, but when hiring someone its almost always a selfish endevor. "Is this going to save or help my project, is this person going to be the thing to help me get out of the shit storm i know will happen"? i was that person. I know that these thoughts weren't something that was thought of as I've stated above. But I'm typing to you all now knowing that I'm sad and unhappy that I've taken another dead end job because I was scared I couldn't pay my rent. I've filled my life up with pets who I know love me but I also know that they are here because I needed someone to fill this gap that I've had for far too long. I try to do things to make me feel whole again, I need this. I need something to make me feel like I'm wanted and needed. But nothing helps. And nothing should, this feeling of contentment should come from inside me but it hasn't. I'm going to get words of encouragement from a good deal of you. The people that love me and that I love back. This is just a bad night, nothing more. I'm not that girl to take this to that future place. I'm not that weak. I'm just sad tonight and know that my real friends want to know what i am at every moment.  I can't be that composed and collected all the time. Fuck I hate wine. Good night. Current Mood: sad (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
11:27 pm	:) Seeing I haven't posted anything in this in almost 2 years and I have at most 4 people that might see this, i still want to write how fucking ecstatic I am about my weekend. I went on a date. not even a normal date, but the bestest date ever created. nothing happened at all but it was still crazy perfect. This guy was actually made just for me. We went to the exploritorium and had a blast then dinner and watched movies at TV at my place for hours. he popped by Zietgiest for a quick drink and then proceeded to message me asking me to hang out again b4 he leaves for Europe for 2 weeks. i know I'm getting all worked up over nothing but I haven't felt this way about someone since my ex over 2 years ago. i'm ready! <3 kim~ Current Mood: bouncy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 25th, 2005
10:00 am	:( My heart is broken. Current Mood: crushed Current Music: none (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 24th, 2005
3:22 pm	damn I feel incomplete right now. Dana and I broke up. I'm glad we broke up, it was mutual and we are still freinds. Accomplishing friendship isn't actually that hard with him. So thats nice. But I didn't realize I would miss him and us so much. I really miss the kisses and hugs and battlestar Galactica. he has the Tivo so I have missed 2 episodes so far. It was a good relationship, really good, but it was time for it to be over, before it turned bad. My friends have been amazing. More so then I would have ever imagined. I'm really tired. The only thing that I can do is keep busy. I had a garage sale and I'm starting back on my entomology hobby as well. I really hope Ireland happens soon. I would love a break from LA. I talked to Tony in Ireland and he said that he would love to ship me out here today but the funding for the compnay still hasn't come through. So I wait, and wait, and wait. I'm getting a bit nervous. Leelu is done with quarentine and has to be shipped out there no later then July 18th. So just as a procautionary measure I'm looking for emplyoment elsewhere. Ubisoft and Relic seem interested. San Fran could be cool and Canada could be cold. I fucking hate live journal. And I hate that I sorta feel better after writing in this garbage. Damnit! Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Cinematics from my Xbox dev kit (Comment on this)
Friday, January 28th, 2005
3:54 pm	Obviously I only write in this when I'm bored at work. So I got suckered into going to Dungeon tonight. I really don't want to go. I just don't care for the club. I love the venue, fond memories of KF still linger. But the last time I went to Dungeon at "The old" Probe, it sucked. BUt its a friends B-day and she's coming in from out of town, and Dana asked nicely. I'm a sucker for a gorgeous polite boy. I'm sure it will be a fun night, I'll be in good company. Last night we went to Pervs. Nothing too special. Preflight at Zsanett's house, then a quick walk over for dollar drinks. Our ussual bartender wasn't in so we went into the goth roomto try out the other guy. I was pleasently suprised. They have a heavy hand so I always have to ask for more juice. I asked the wrong bartender last night. I asked for a splash of cranberry to tone down my paint thinner, she accidentally gave me coke. Coke, cranberry and Vodka don't mix well. So she appoligized and made me a fresh drink. That was very nice of her. We left very early, I'd say midnight thirty. I don't know cause I was trashed. All in all it was a good night. Nothing spectacular, but fun still. I had clam chowder for lunch. It made me happy. Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
4:19 pm	I am a complete tool. 1 small apple - 55 calories blackberries 1 cup - 65 calories boysenberries 1 cup - 65 calories Cherries 1 cup - 74 calories Grapes 1 cup - 110 calories Mango 1 cup - 107 calories Peaches 1 medium - 38 calories Rasberries 1 cup - 64 calories Tangerine 1 small - 31 calories Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
2:57 pm	I am a big fat quitter. So I quit my diet today. Fucking thing doesn't work. its one of those low-carb diets. What a sham. I'm just going to lose weight the old fashioned way, eat less calories and work out. I'm sick of all these quick fixes that just don't work and fuck your body up in the process. Here come the pity-pages: I hate my job. Well its not really the job I hate or the company its just my boss. I ask for work everyday and I get ignored. Some people might say "Hey thats great, you get paid for doing nothing and your boss doesn't bother you" and yes thats definatly a perk. But anyone who has sat in fromt of a computer (unable to play video games) for 3 months straight with nothing to do understands. I think I have finished the internet. The kicker is that whenever I have a review all the other leads have sparkling reviews about me except my direct boss. He says that I have screwed up things I haven't and thats why I didn't get my raise. I have talked to the people I have worked directly with about aformentioned fuck ups and they had no clue what he was talking about. Blaitent lying. What and ass. There Ive vented Good stuff comming up: Vegas. I wish it wasn't on Superbowl weekend but seeing its everyones bday that weekend its forgiveable. Dana and I are flying cause we are both grumpy and tired by the end of the trip and just want to go home and see the puppies. So the money is well spent in my mind. I also couldn't be happier with the group of people going this time. Well I could be happier if a few others were going that can't go. Cough *Ginny* cough *Curt*. But so far the laundry list of people are: Me, Dana, Sam, Dan, Brian G, Bev, Edger, Brenda, Frisch, Remy, uhhhhhhh and a bunch of other people I can't remember right now. Needless to say I'm excited. Current Mood: moody (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 13th, 2005
2:42 pm	I must be really bored..... seeing I just made a live journal account, and am now writting in it. I have absolutly nothing I'd like to share with millions of people I don't know. I understand the concept of livejournal, but to actually post diary like snipits of my personal goings on seems kinda creapy. That and I have a relitivly boreing life. Something I am not troubled with in the slightest. And I keep typing. Those of you who know me know that I'm leaving the country soon. Not soon enough in my eyes. I need a minibreak. I am struggling to be the 25 year old girl but the 45 year old women in my head doesn't let me do much. In other words I'm dull and have almost too much common sense. Obviously this has kept me out of alot of trouble but its also kept me from alot of fun as well. That was a poorly written sentince. I don't think I have done a smiggen of work today. Books i'm in the middle of: Lemony Snicket - Book 2 Abarat 2 Stiff Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)